When you’re a wee-bit on the introverted side, dates can present their own set of stress.
Added: 9 January, 2018
First dates are stressful enough; but when you are an introvert, they can be panic-inducing. You already don’t do well with meeting new people, but meeting someone you know will be “sizing you up” is definitely shallow breathing time. So, as you think about the upcoming event, you start re-living all of the past disastrous first dates you have had—your short, curt responses to questions asked, your inability to keep a flow of conversation going, those awkward “good nights.” And the shallow breaths are now accompanied by that grinding in the pit of your stomach.
While no magic wand can take your introversion away, there are some things you can do to master the art of the first date.
No Drastic Changes
Should you decide that you want some new shoes or even a new outfit for your date, go for it. But don’t make big changes. Don’t buy a pair of shoes or an outfit that isn’t “you.” And don’t get a brand new haircut.
Here’s the thing about such changes: You will spend the date being very self-conscious because you are not comfortable with such a change. You haven’t had your own time to get used to it, and now here you are on a date. Yikes. The goal is to increase your comfort level, and dressing as you always do will help that.
Pick a Dating Event That’s Short
Meeting for a drink or coffee or attending some short event is usually the best for an introvert. There is comfort in knowing that it will be short up front, and you will have far less dread or stress. And, if thing goes well, that short chunk of time can always be extended into dinner or something else.
It’s much easier to approach the date this way than to plan a long evening, then try to cut it short. Actually, this is good advice for all first dates with strangers, so don’t feel that you are somehow different.
Choose a Place or Event You Know
Going someplace new can add to your discomfort—you won’t know your way around and you’ll be distracted trying to familiarize yourself with the place. If this is the short first date, choose a coffee shop, simple restaurant, or a small bar you already know. You will be familiar with the table arrangements, the location and parking, the menu, and the people who will be waiting on you. All of these things will let you focus on the person you are with.